Bullshit Sandwich By Katko

Bullshit Sandwich By Katko

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

I solve all the problems of the country, and create a utopia under Donald Trump. Your welcome.


Finally, this horrible election is over, and the American people have chosen to elect an insolent, pouty, reactionary cunt of a business man, who lies like a rug, and plays keyboard-tough-guy on Twitter. Remember however, as we lament the results of the election, that the Democrats chose to brazenly and unapologetically rig their own primary process in order to install a candidate who is also a world class liar, the wife of the most scandalized president in recent history, and the very symbol of a system that is about corporate money, and pandering to big business. A system that does not have a single fuck to give for the working poor in this country. Student loan debt. Bank failures. Job losses. Health care debacles.

There is no awareness or concern in Washington on either side of the aisle for the plight of working class people. People who live paycheck to paycheck, and are always on the brink of disaster, financially – and as a result, emotionally.

Bernie Sanders spoke to those people, and Donald Trump spoke to those people. Hillary Clinton looked down on those people and characterized a segment of Trump’s supporters as a “Basket of deplorables”. Politics is a game of perceptions, and to many the perception of Hillary Clinton is that she is the ultimate insider. An elitist and fundamentally dishonest.

So now that both parties have effectively imploded, and the American people have spoken, what do we do? How do we move forward, and truly remake this system, because if Donald Trump has a mandate, it’s this: Remake the system.

If you voted for Trump, stop gloating, and stop babbling about putting Hillary in jail, and building a wall. That’s not how we do things in America. Putin puts political enemies in jail, and your guy doesn’t want or need any more Putin bullshit.

If you voted for Clinton, stop crying. Most of you who did, did so reluctantly anyway. She was a shit candidate, and your party is as corrupt as the Republicans.

If you were a Bernie, or Johnson supporter, or supported one of the other insignificant nobodies, this is your chance. Not to rail against Trump, but to rail against the system. To agitate for real change, and to look for common ground with the angry and disillusioned people who elected him.

What do we agitate for? Banning muslims? Building as huge wall? Legalizing grabbing women by the pussy? Of course not you dummy. We need to agitate for things that will make a real change in this country, something that will remake our political and social dynamic. Something that will fulfill Trump’s mandate to remake the system.

Have no fear, here is my 4 point agenda.


1.       Universal, single payer healthcare. This is the only civilized way. Having healthcare be a free market exercise with no regulation, is what got us in this spot to begin with. We are a nation of capitalists, and I believe that capitalism is a force for change and a healthy way to foster innovation and imagination, however, we cannot allow individuals to seek insane amounts of profit, at the expense of our nation’s health. Healthcare is an INFRASTRUCTURE cost, not a competitive exercise. There is plenty of room for profit, competition and innovation inside a single payer system. Pfizer is a Swedish company. Sweden has single payer, universal healthcare. They seem to be doing fine. And if your argument is that the only reason Pfizer is still profitable is because they can gouge us Americans for their boner pills, then I would ask why we’re protecting a pharmaceutical company who’s business model is to fuck the dumb Americans.

2.       REAL campaign finance reform. Elected officials spend more time kissing corporate America’s ass to raise money for their next election than they do working for us, the People. There needs to be a limit on spending, and an end put to PAC’s, Super PAC’s and all other loopholes. Television and radio time should be free, and distributed equally, they are public service announcements, and should be treated as such, since when is a US election a revenue stream for privately owned media corporations? Oh yeah, since the media corporations became major donors and advocates.

3.       Higher education tuition reform. I’m not going to flat out say that a college education should be free. In a perfect world, maybe, but I believe State schools, and Junior Colleges, should be easily affordable to all students. I have a plan for that – a way for students to earn an education. I believe having an educated population is also an INFRASTRUCTURE cost. And by graduating students with crippling amounts of debt, we stifle our creativity, and put them in a terrible position at a time that should be full of promise and hope. So how would I pay for it?

4.       Mandatory National Service. Every citizen should be required to do some sort of service between the ages of 18 and 21. The Military, a domestic Peace Corps… this service cannot only defray the cost of higher education later, but it can teach kids, who aren’t college bound, trades. I believe if a kid is talented and passionate about say, medicine, then we should educate that kid. College, med school, residency, and in exchange he/she can serve their country as a doctor, or an engineer or a social worker (just a few examples) for a number of years. They can do this in the Military, in the inner city, on reservations or any number ways once their education is complete. Think of the public works we can get done. Think of the invaluable experience for a kid to travel, to see how other people live in this country, to be exposed to life outside of their neighborhoods and outside of their culture. Think about teaching the value of National Service. Again, this is an INFRASTRUCTURE cost, and an even greater benefit to the society as a whole.

So there, I turned lemons into lemonade, and solved all of our problems.

While I sit back and wait for my phone to ring – I expect the Trump administration & various think-tanks & other pollical wogs & wankers to call me at any time, to come help save the country – I will turn CNN back on & flip around the dial… watch celebs lose their shit, and watch political “Experts” miss the whole fucking point.

While they talk about white voters, and education levels, polling data & metrics, and gape open mouthed at statistics showing that Trump got more Latino votes than Romney did four years ago, those of us here in the flyover country will know the truth.

This election wasn’t about race, or immigration, or being a sexist pig, or Hillary Clinton's emails. 

This election was about class. About hopelessness, about working 40 plus hours a week and having nothing to show for it. And most of all, it was about a class of people who seem to believe that they are entitled to a lifetime job & fat bank accounts while we work, sometimes two jobs, and still have to decide between a doctor’s visit and the utility bill.

They don’t give a fuck about us, and we the people (well, not ME, but collectively…) just put a big turd in their punch bowl… a big, orange, pouty turd.

God help us all.


Now go agitate!